Wheaties...Breakfast of Redundancy Breakfast

 

OK...this is hilarious. The second ingredient-breakdown of the blog, and one of the most ridiculous health claims of ALL TIME.

Wheaties - breakfast of champions. 

Look at the health claim - "More Whole Grain than any other ingredient!"

Does that strike anyone else as being a bit silly? You're WHEATies...should you be bragging that WHOLE GRAIN (aka Wheat!) is your #1 ingredient???!!! That reminds me of a time in the film room in high school that I made a tackle in a game and bragged to the coach. He whacked me on the head with his pointer and said, "Hey, Rogers?! That's what you were SUPPOSED to do. You didn't do anything spectacular...you did your job...now shut your mouth."

That health claim is like the Dallas Cowboys bragging "The 2012 Dallas Cowboys...more football players on our team than ANY OTHER type of athlete!" Yes...you're a FOOTBALL TEAM. Of COURSE football players are the most prevalent athlete on the roster. 

Or Gap Kids saying "Gap Kids - with more kids clothing than any other type of clothing!" Yes...of course!

Or a taxi cab driver jumping out of the cab and screaming out "I GOT MY FARE TO THE RIGHT DESTINATION!" Yes...you did...that's what you were SUPPOSED to do.

You're WHEATIES for crying out loud!!! 

How can that be a health claim???!!!

I am minor-ly outraged by this. Hilarious, yet also frustratingly maddening. 

Let's take a look at the ingredients.

There are six.

1 - whole grain wheat...good! Yes! WHEATies!

2 - sugar...hmmmm. Why is that needed in the Breakfast of Champions?

3 - salt...unnecessary.

4 - Corn syrup...more sugar? Really? What kind of Champions is Wheaties trying to make? Pre-Diabetic ones?

5 - Trisodium phosphate - cleaning agent, food additive, stain remover, and degreaser....good (sarcasm).

6 - BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene) - preservative, fat-soluble organic compound, controversy surrounded this compound in the 70s as it was thought to be linked to child hyperactivity and cancer.

So you may want to rethink the ole Wheaties as a champions breakfast and use it more in the realm of Lucky Charms or Cocoa Puffs. Good, yummy cereal...just not what's going to make champions of the kind normally pictured on the box.